Calling Danica

“Hello.  Danica?”

“Yes, who’s this?”

“Sorry, I can’t tell you.  Just call me a friend.”

“Well friend, what can I do for you?”

“Actually Danica, it’s what I can do for you.”

“Yeah right.  I’ve heard that before.  I give, what can you do for me?”

“Just a little friendly advice.  Make a good show of your qualifying attempt.  Start high on the warm-up lap just like everybody else and then hug the white line, keep your foot in it and hold that wheel steady.  The rest will take care of itself.”

“Uh, thanks a lot.  But what else am I gonna do?”

“Wait a second.  Richard, is that you?  Sorry I don’t recognize your voice yet.  But stop messing around and get your butt over to my motorhome.”

“Ah, no Danica, it’s not Ricky.  And as much as I’d like to come over to you motorhome, I’d better not.

“Tony?  Okay, I know it’s you Tony.    Weren’t you the one who said that any monkey could qualify at Daytona?  And we already talked about this after practice.  Cut back on those double cheeseburgers, drop a few pounds – like maybe a hundred – and you might be able to run around Daytona a fast as I can.  But don’t even think about grabbing my butt.”

“No Danica, it’s not Tony either. “

“Well then friend, quit talking in riddles.”

“Danica, this is The Call.”

“Who is this really?”

The Call Danica.  The Call.  We want you on the pole for the 500.  It’s like Rick Hendrick said, you’re magical. Everyone is gonna be talking about you – and talking about the Daytona 500.  And it doesn’t hurt that you have one of his engines in your car.”

“Now I've got it.  This is Jessie Heiman.  Right?  Is that you Jessie?  Well forgetaboutit.  I don’t care what those folks from GoDaddy say, I am not going to kiss you.

“Oh just forget it Danica.  Nevermind.” 

“Well thanks for the advice friend, but we got this qualifying thing under control.  But how about leaving me your number?  I might want to talk with you next Saturday night.”

“Sorry Danica.  No can do.  Already got a call in to Dale Junior about that.”